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Two Under Two: How Are We Coping? | The First Three Months

May 28, 2018

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Whats it really like having two under two?

Everyone said “the first few months of two under two are the hardest” and I hope to god that’s true because these first few months have been one hundred times easier than I was expecting. (*All expectant two under two mums breath a sigh of relief* – I hear ya!)

I spent 9 months (and FIVE extra days, thank you, Elin, for introducing me to overdue hell) bricking it. Absolutely bricking it. But rest assured, it’s not bad. Pinky swear.

That’s not me saying it doesn’t have its challenges, but, the challenges come from having two children. The age gap just provides logistical challenges i.e getting down the stairs with two kids.

The thing I’ve found the hardest is actually having a newborn again. Why is it we always look back at those days with rose tinted glasses? “Oh newborns sleep all day, they’re soooo easy.”


Wrong. Newborns are hard work!

So no matter what the age gap us, it would be an adjustment. You’d think in sixteen months it wouldn’t be such a shock but it still is!

The Bad:

Splitting your time is so so so hard. I miss one on one time with Rory more than anything.

To go from giving him my undivided attention to splitting that in less than half (let’s face it, new babies are time zappers) is hard. The guilt is unreal.

Elin is, like her brother, a little cling on. She spends a lot of her time being “babyworn”. So it’s hard for Rory to have a cuddle or be held. At the moment I am obsessively filling his day with play dates and groups so that he can have fun as I just feel so bad that he doesn’t get enough from me. 

Days where Elins sleeps well, Rory gets a tonne of attention and that feels amazing, but then come to the end of the day I realise that the cost has been Elin receiving a lack of attention.

I’m not really one for rushing babies development (I like to hold on to them being little!) but I am  looking forward to Elin growing up so that she will be happier napping without needing anything or will happily play by herself for smaller periods of time (roll on the Jumperoo!) so that I can balance my time better between the two.

The Good:

Right! Now we’ve done the real talk, lets level.

Elin wasn’t planned. The age gap wasn’t planned. However, I LOVE it.


When I was pregnant with Elin, not one person had a positive thing to say about having two under two. People would reassure me that it wasn’t that bad, sure, but no one said the good.

It’s hard to picture when you’re pregnant but your heart is about to be so full.

Having two smaller children means that you are basically a queen to these little people who think the world of you and although serving their needs all day, everyday, is hard work, anything worth having is worth working for right?

How is Rory adjusting?

Rory still isn’t over the moon over the presence of Elin. He doesn’t really want anything to do with her, but he is reasonably placid.

It has affected him for sure. He misses quality time with his mummy. Rory has just started showing signs of jealousy. He has a super close relationship with his older (half) sister and he doesn’t like her holding Elin.

I knew Rory would be like that though, he’s only just started showing signs of wanting to interact with kids his age so I wasn’t expecting much from him with Elin but I am so excited for them to bond.

How is Mama adjusting?

The last few weeks have been so much better. It just all feels very normal.

Wednesdays still give me slight anxiety. After having help at the weekend and then Monday & Tuesday, Rory goes to nursery. So I lose my groove. Wednesday mornings I find a little overwhelming having to re-find the rhyme and rhythm and that takes a minute.  

We’ve decided to give up childcare. Aghh just saying that out loud gives me anxiety but I am also really excited. I already feel bad that Rory gets less time with me so it feels like a good move but obviously being a fully fledged stay at home mum (working from home) is mentally gruelling.

We decided, financially,  it wasn’t worth sending them both to nursery and as I am still managing to work around Elin it made sense Rory stopped going too. We toyed with keeping him in for ages but it didn’t feel fair and also I am excited to use the money saved to take them both on lovely days out!

How do I get anything done?

Elin is still in that sleep stage where I can get housework done by babywearing but I am going to have to start being smarter with it!

I don’t understand how but our house just keeps getting SO messy!

With the reduction of childcare, I’ve made an executive decision. We are getting a cleaner!

Read about our first month here.


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