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Problems You Shouldn’t Try to Fix Yourself

May 11, 2020

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We all know what it’s like. As a mum, you are so used to being constantly busy that when a new problem pops up your first instinct is to get on and fix it by yourself. You like to think of yourself as a strong, independent woman who can deal with anything (and you are!), so you’ll always try to solve problems yourself before asking for help. Whilst this is completely admirable and proves just how strong and amazing mums can be, there are definitely some problems you shouldn’t try to just fix yourself. These can take many forms, from technical dilemmas to dangerous activities and issues that may need special expertise to handle – and not just expertise that you can gain from a quick bit of google research! Below are a few examples of problems that you should feel no shame at all in asking for help on, whether from friends and family or from experts.

Extreme Misbehaviour

Your children are the closest things to your heart, and it’s understandable that you feel ultimately responsible for them. There can be a lot of shame and stigma associated with misbehaving children, and you can easily feel like it just means you’re not doing a good job at parenting or that you lack effective discipline. This makes it really hard to know when to reach out and ask for advice. However, this absolutely isn’t something you should be trying to deal with alone. If any misbehaviour becomes consistent and difficult to deal with, it’s alright to ask for help. Kids can be mysterious creatures and we don’t always understand them, as much as we love them. It’s also possible that extreme naughtiness could be the result of an underlying condition such as ADHD, or that your child is experiencing high levels of stress at school. Identifying any causes such as this with the help of an expert is the best way to help both you and your child come through any difficult patches with love and understanding.

Plumbing and Electricals

Your home is your safe space and your nest for your family, so it can be highly stressful when anything goes wrong with how it all works. Though your first urge might be to stick your head into the system and try to fix it all immediately, this might be a terrible idea! Both plumbing and electricals can be dangerous if you don’t know what you’re doing, not to mention unhygienic – you don’t want to run the risk of flooding your whole house by trying to fix a tiny leak. This is one time when it’s best to get in the experts rather than try to DIY it; find a trusted plumber you can rely on, like Mark Leonard Plumbing, and get them in to fix it for you. Don’t worry, you’re still a strong and powerful woman even if you need to get someone in to help with your plumbing – just think of it as successful delegating!

Work Problems

The provisions and laws surrounding new mums going back to work are much better than they once were. However, if you start experiencing any problems at work – especially if they are connected to your position as a mother – you shouldn’t hesitate to ask for help and advice. Perhaps your boss is refusing to let you work flexibly to accommodate the school run, or your workload is unreasonable considering your new childcare needs. Returning to work after maternity leave can be a very stressful process, and your work should be able to accommodate this to the best of their ability. If you feel you’re being discriminated against or treated badly, don’t hesitate to talk to your HR department, or even to get external government advice. You shouldn’t attempt to power through and take all the responsibility, as you will only grind yourself down and risk stress-related health concerns further down the line. Know your rights, and be prepared to protect them by seeking help.

Illness

Parents can swing one of two ways when their child is ill; there are those who panic and immediately rush them into A&E, and those who remain convinced there is nothing that chicken soup and apples can’t fix. The truth lies somewhere in the middle. It can be incredibly stressful even if your child just has a cold – and again, you feel like you’ve been a terrible parent by not being able to keep them healthy. This isn’t true! The best thing you can do in this situation is stay calm, and call your doctor to report any symptoms and make sure you’re taking all the appropriate actions. Don’t panic, but at the same time make sure you are reaching out to an expert and not trying to deal with everything by yourself.

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