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Don’t Call Me Crazy | The feedback of my second pregnancy.

October 9, 2017

Generally announcing baby number 2 came with a huge amount of support and excitement from friends, even when I wasn’t feeling it myself. They managed to build me up and help me grow in confidence, reassuring me that I would manage just fine with two under two, and very quickly because of their help I went from an anxious mess to feeling like the luckiest mummy on the planet. I am soon to have two babies to love with everything I have. I will forever be grateful to that support network and I hope they realise just how much they helped!
What has blown my mind since announcing my second pregnancy is the number of people that came forward with such strong opinions on how ‘crazy’ I was, passing comments like “two under two, you must be mental” or “rather you than me” etc. People that actually have no access to our lives and won’t be the people that I call upon for help or share my children with. So why do they feel the need to have any say, judgement or input into my second pregnancy?

Falling pregnant without a plan comes with it’s own issues for a couple. You feel a level of fear, excitement, guilt, angst – its a generally overwhelming time. I had to consider the impact this would have on my health, finances, home, relationships and first baby – as well as feeling so guilty that I was even concerned over this pregnancy compared to falling pregnant with Rory.

I already KNOW that having two children is going to be hard work, let alone two babies! I don’t need anyone else to tell me that. But what would you like me to do about it? What do you think passing a judgemental comment is going to add? It’s just going to make me defensive, protective and feel inadequate.

But here is the thing, I don’t feel inadequate and people getting up on their high horse is just funny to me now! I feel incredibly blessed, I know how much I absolutely adore Rory and how besotted I am going to be with this new baby. I get to have all of that love, all of the smiles and cuddles twice over. I cannot wait to have another scrummy little newborn to make my heart double in size. There was once a dark time where Rich and I were diagnosed as infertile, talking IVF, adoption and were even once told we could be looking for a sperm donor, so to fall pregnant naturally – twice – is a nothing short of a miracle for us really!

Since becoming a parent I am always mindblown by the amount of opinions, judgement and cattiness that goes around. I beg people to think before they speak! Before telling that young mum her life is over, before telling the mum of multiples how her hands are full and before telling the mum with two under two that she is crazy. Ask yourself, what is that comment going to add to this situation? I beg you to consider passing on some positivity “your child is a credit to you”, “you’re doing an amazing job as a parent”, “your baby will make a great older sibling”

Similar Reads:
6 ways announcing your second pregnancy is different to your first.
Becoming a parent is the biggest identity change we go through.

The comments +

  1. Georgina Putman

    October 11th, 2017 at 9:08 am

    From one Georgina to another… firstly I want to congratulate you on your pregnancy. Your blog was one the first I came across when I found out I was pregnant. My little man is now 5months old and both myself and my husband feel incredibly blessed to have him. I do feel your frustration and along with learning about this whole new world, I've also discovered how becoming a parent somehow gives others the right to be incredibly judgemental and think they can say whatever they want. I get it all the time! My little man is combination fed, due to lots of different reasons. But I have some mothers who breastfeed, judge me because I have to top up with formula and some of those who just use formula think I am being over the top with expressing. It is the same with cloth nappies. We cloth in the day and use disposable at night…but oh the horror and confusion this causes…you must be one or the other!
    I am getting used to it now and I just say balls to them. You will always do what is best for your children and I think you are doing a wonderful job xxx

  2. Lauren

    December 10th, 2017 at 9:31 am

    Congratulations lovely! I’m so happy for you. I think it’s unnecessary for anyone to even pass judgement on you for being pregnant again soon after your first, especially if they don’t have any kids themselves. It’s nothing to do with them. Like you said, it’s a miracle for you to be pregnant twice naturally. It’s really wonderful and I really wish you the best. You’re an amazing mum. Just ignore those catty comments. Why’re not worth worrying about. You’ll soon have two gorgeous children to make your heart swell with joy xx

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