Generally announcing baby number 2 came with a huge amount of support and excitement from friends, even when I wasn’t feeling it myself. They managed to build me up and help me grow in confidence, reassuring me that I would manage just fine with two under two, and very quickly because of their help I went from an anxious mess to feeling like the luckiest mummy on the planet. I am soon to have two babies to love with everything I have. I will forever be grateful to that support network and I hope they realise just how much they helped!
What has blown my mind since announcing my second pregnancy is the number of people that came forward with such strong opinions on how ‘crazy’ I was, passing comments like “two under two, you must be mental” or “rather you than me” etc. People that actually have no access to our lives and won’t be the people that I call upon for help or share my children with. So why do they feel the need to have any say, judgement or input into my second pregnancy?
Falling pregnant without a plan comes with it’s own issues for a couple. You feel a level of fear, excitement, guilt, angst – its a generally overwhelming time. I had to consider the impact this would have on my health, finances, home, relationships and first baby – as well as feeling so guilty that I was even concerned over this pregnancy compared to falling pregnant with Rory.
I already KNOW that having two children is going to be hard work, let alone two babies! I don’t need anyone else to tell me that. But what would you like me to do about it? What do you think passing a judgemental comment is going to add? It’s just going to make me defensive, protective and feel inadequate.
But here is the thing, I don’t feel inadequate and people getting up on their high horse is just funny to me now! I feel incredibly blessed, I know how much I absolutely adore Rory and how besotted I am going to be with this new baby. I get to have all of that love, all of the smiles and cuddles twice over. I cannot wait to have another scrummy little newborn to make my heart double in size. There was once a dark time where Rich and I were diagnosed as infertile, talking IVF, adoption and were even once told we could be looking for a sperm donor, so to fall pregnant naturally – twice – is a nothing short of a miracle for us really!
Since becoming a parent I am always mindblown by the amount of opinions, judgement and cattiness that goes around. I beg people to think before they speak! Before telling that young mum her life is over, before telling the mum of multiples how her hands are full and before telling the mum with two under two that she is crazy. Ask yourself, what is that comment going to add to this situation? I beg you to consider passing on some positivity “your child is a credit to you”, “you’re doing an amazing job as a parent”, “your baby will make a great older sibling”