Dating is a stage of various romantic relationships practiced mainly in Western cultures, wherein two (or more) people meet individually with the intention of each evaluating the other’s compatibility as a potential partner in a future romantic relationship. It is not uncommon to hear the term dating used interchangeably with courtship and marriage. It is both a process and an event, which involve conscious efforts on the part of the participants. The act of dating can be considered to be a transition from adolescence to adulthood. It is considered normal for a young adult to engage in dating and courting activities at this point in life.
Dating can be defined as an evolving and developing social activity that manifests itself through courtship, pre-engagement, and eventually marriage. In this activity, one or more people develop a close relationship by meeting and engaging in romantic acts or by forming an enduring romantic relationship. It is in today’s date and search culture that online dating has grown in popularity. Online dating is a very simplified way of finding and meeting a potential romantic partner for all types of relationships whether it is casual dating, long term relationships, or a serious committed relationship.
Online dating helps people use the internet to connect with others who share a common interest and who are also looking for a relationship with the same intent as themselves. Online dating is also beneficial because it makes the relationship partners feel comfortable going out with and dating other people without having to worry about their safety, security and personal well being exposed in public. Online dating services have increased the number of dating websites, as more people use the internet to search for potential romantic relationships.
Online dating is becoming popular because there is no legal age for relationships. Websites like seksitreffit provide a curated directory of hot singles looking for sex dates in Finland. However, you should not feel pressure when meeting someone for the first time. Just like in real world situations, it is important to establish some ground rules before embarking on a relationship. Even if you are dating someone that is supposed to be of legal age to enter into a relationship, you should still have some ground rules. This helps maintain some level of emotional safety.
The first stage of any relationship is attraction or “getting to know” the person. In order to be successful in any type of dating relationship, you must make sure that the feelings you have for your date are genuine. This first stage is known as the “imaginary stage” of a dating relationship.
In the next stage of dating the commitment is made to proceed to the next level of dating, commitment. This is often considered to be the next level of dating. Once you have become seriously interested in a person, they may ask you out on a date, even if they are committed to another relationship at the time. When dating a casual partner the idea of commitment may not be as significant. In this case, one or two dates may be enough.
After the commitment has been made, usually two people will remain in the dating relationship. At this point, casual dating would be a waste of time. It is time to move to the next level of dating. The next level involves more dating and possibly longer term relationships.
The last stage of dating is known as the matured relationship. At this point there will still be some casual dating going on but the relationship is becoming serious. It is now at the stage where the casual relationship can be turned into a more serious romantic relationship. The goal is to eventually become engaged in a romantic relationship. Although not easy, dating a romantic partner can be done even if you are just dating a single person.
When it comes to both my births, I will always be forever grateful to all of the midwives that looked after us. They know this because I’ve messaged them on Facebook. Yup, I’m that kind of creeper! But inspired by a blog post from Smart Cells I am determined to find a midwife whose name I didn’t catch.
For Rory’s birth there was Lorraine, god damn when I first met her I hated her. She kept telling me I wasn’t “in enough pain” for pain relief, ‘goddammit woman‘ I thought! But when my cervix eventually did get its act in order and hit 4cm, that woman didn’t mess about. She got me what I needed as quickly as I demanded it. Poor woman! I was in labor for so long that she ended her shift and came back on again later and was back to looking after me, seeing me through the final slog. During my cesarean, she was my angel. She was efficient and to the point. Exactly what the doctor ordered. She had my back.
For Elin’s delivery, there was Lily, lovely Lily. A girl I love so much, Elin’s middle name is dedicated to her! The poor girl got cornered in the corridor and was stuck with me when she wasn’t even supposed to be on a “delivering babies shift”. You, my girl, were my favorite thing that day (apart from Elin) no matter how much I declared I wanted a cesarian (Elin got stuck and I panicked), no matter how much I roared like a wilder beast and no matter what I demanded. You were a cracker!
Now there’s a midwife whose name I do not know, she may not even actually be a midwife? But she’s a woman I will never forget and I’m determined to find her.
After Rory’s birth I was on the high dependency ward so was well looked after. Elin’s birth was reasonably straight forward so afterwards it was just her and I. Despite her birth being quite straightforward, it’s still an ordeal! By the time I got to the ward I’d been awake for 19 hours and was a little (a lot!) shaky. Elin was angry at life (her head took a battering being pulled out, poor little mite) and she would not settle. (That’s me being polite, the girl got very well acquainted with her lungs and screamed.)
I was genuinely a little bit terrified. As a mum already you have a season pass right? You know your stuff surely? But in that moment it all felt just as alien as it did the first time around. I was weak and shaky and so scared I’d drop her. She was new and fresh and I didn’t know her. I didn’t know how to calm or soothe her. I missed Rory, at least I knew what he needed when he cried. (Usually a snack)
I shushed and rocked her till she fell asleep but every time I put her in the cot she woke (didn’t she know she was meant to basically be permanently asleep for at least 2 days?) So I held her and waited (and waited and waited) until she fell into a deep enough sleep to be transferred. While I waited, in popped a lovely midwife who uttered the magic words “why don’t you pop her next to you in the bed and we’ll keep coming to check on you” HOLY MOLLY. As a co-sleeping mum this is what I so desperately wanted to do but didn’t feel I could because ‘hello judgement’.
Later when Elin woke, she came to help me. She offered to take her into the office and cuddle her for me so I could get some sleep. She held her for me whilst I went to the toilet (side note: I didn’t even make it as far as the toilet before I peed everywhere because its true what the say, your pelvic floor needs some TLC), she mopped up blood off the floor (yep, sorry about that) AND she had the magic touch to get Elin to settle in the cot!
She bashed out so many stereotypes. She cared. She made sure I rested. She made me feel so comfortable and I never got to thank her.
So now I want too. I want to say Thank You, Midwife! Thank you for being utter perfection at a time where I needed it. You reminded me that I’m a mum already. I know what I’m doing. You gave me my confidence back. You made me feel strong by reminding me “hell, you’re not overreacting, did you see what you just went through”
So, if you were working the night of the 3rd March 2018 at Yeovil Hospital, I can’t remember which room I was in, but I was in the top right-hand corner, I kept banging on about my first born boy like a mad woman. You have little boys too, three I think! You are amazing and I cant tell you how much you meant to me that night!
Let’s face it, holidays with kids are NOT the same! Gone are the days of liquid lunches, sleepy siestas and painting the town red swapped for chasing small humans around with factor 50 and sun hats, reading only 10 pages of your book for the whole holiday and spending a fortune on holiday tat because low and behold the suitcase of toys you brought wasn’t quite enough!
However. We must keep on. Have kids. Will travel.
Its good for them but more importantly its good for us. I once read that holidays with kids is “same sh*t, different location” and for some that may sound off-putting, but for me its a relief! Holidays with kids can seem like an overwhelming concept but actually, if it really is “the same sh*t, different location” then we can totally handle it!
Stick to a Bedtime Routine
Stick to bedtime routine when away. I always thought I’d be chilled about it. In reality, I’m strict and bedtime is bedtime. What have I become?!
-Charlotte, Looking After Your Pennies
Before kids, on holiday I never thought id let them stay up past bedtime. I always saw others doing it and said I wouldn’t, but I know I will now!
Enter into Arcade Politics
Try and win those ridiculous giant stuffed toys in the arcades.
Rachel, The Illustrated Teacup
I never thought I’d let my child waste money on the stupid bright arcade games that are impossible to win anything on… I was wrong.
-Raimy, Readaraptor Hatchling
I’d never do lay on the beach all day style holiday! I like the be busy and don’t love laying in the sun all day every day! Yet when we went to Croatia I really enjoyed it!
-Nicole, The Littlest Darlings
No scary rides
I said I’d never allow them on scary waterslides or those dodgy looking fairground rides – the things they lived for on our holiday and did numerous times a day!
-Rebecca, You, Me, Raising Three
Consider a Villa
Ooookay, I don’t know why but I’ve always been a little ‘anti-villa’. I’m a creature of habit and I like to stick to what I know, which is resorts! I’m not, however, afraid to admit where I am wrong.
A few days ago I saw someone on Instagram share their villa, posting how they were still able to have an evening swim or drink while their babies slept undisturbed and I that to me was just genius!
After having a quick search I came across Clickstay, I just cannot believe I’ve never considered a villa before! They have private pools, sleep multiple people so you can bring along back up and they have wifi (because home is where the wifi is right?) They have some gorgeous villas in Spain, Tenerife & Majora so all perfect, family friendly destinations!
Go Long Haul
I said I’d never go long-haul while he was still young. That we’d wait to see far-flung places until he could remember it. Well, we’ve taken him to New York, Yellowstone and have booked Thailand and Dubai. He’ll never remember any of it.
-Katharine, The Battle Mum
The first few weeks of breastfeeding are tough. Even when breastfeeding is going well, it is still an adjustment. It could be having nips so sore that you dread your babies feed, it could be the insanity of being pinned to a sofa for cluster feeds. Whatever it is, its hard work and breastfeeding is a big commitment but once you battle through the first two weeks (most breastfeeding mums say the first two weeks is the hardest) you’re golden. You feel on top of the world, you’re so proud you want to have custom t-shirts made declaring “#nailedit”, all you want to do all day is talk breastfeeding and the feeds become a favourite time of day.
Today marks Medelas #BigBreastfeedingCafe, an amazing celebration of breastfeeding mums supporting one another. For me, breastfeeding has always been a time where support has flocked. Breastfeeding is a challenge and other breastfeeding mums just get it. They want you to succeed and will hold your hand as much as you need it. For me, the first few weeks were the toughest so I’ve compiled my top tips on surviving them!
Breastfeeding is one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. Here are a few things that got me through those first two weeks:
Its all in the latch: We all know this, its all in the latch. There is a grey area though. We are told if there is pain the latch isn’t good. But breastfeeding, unfortunately, does come with some discomfort. Elins latch has always been good but I did question myself some nights when the pain was bad. I found watching YouTube videos helpful but not ideal. Everything looked okay but obviously, all babies and boobies are different. When you haven’t seen lots of examples of breastfeeding it’s, its hard to know what normal looks like. A few weeks into breastfeeding I met a lactation consultant and she was invaluable. I found her on this website and she worked through my local hospital. It just felt good to speak to someone that knew what they were doing and to have that support. She mentioned that she would happily see people even if there were no issues just to weigh the baby and offer support/motivation. She kept me feeling really driven.
Count to Five: In the first two weeks, I found the pain came from the initial latch on. The best advice I had was to curl your toes and count to five. That way it gives you an end goal. You count down to the pain subsiding. If there is still pain after you’ve counted to five the chances are your latch isn’t right and its best to whip baby off and try again.
Have a Support Network: Now really is a time to watch the company you keep! When breastfeeding problems arrive, sometimes people can be very quick to promote quitting. I get it. Why would you put yourself through something you don’t have to do? (that’s the general logic anyway) but a breastfeeding mum hold onto it and we need support. On the flip side, you also need grounded people. Sometimes breastfeeding isn’t working out and very pro breastfeeders can make you feel guilty for deciding to stop. I hope that makes sense? When you want to cry because the pain is rough, you need someone to get you a cup of tea and tell you how well you’re doing but you also need someone to tell you “if you want to switch to formula, that’s okay!” There is also the Start4Life Facebook page where you can message a ‘chatbot’ for really fab advice and tips 24/7.
Do what you gotta do: CONTROVERSIAL ADVICE ALERT… and maybe this is terrible advice as technically its advised against. Do what you gotta do. Using a bottle so your boobs get a break, bringing in a dummy when your baby is using you as a comforter. I know there are risks with all of these things, but chances are your baby will continue breastfeeding just fine and these things could be game changers in preventing you from throwing the towel in.
Change up your positions: When things are tender and sore, changing positions is such a help! My right-hand side healed quicker than my left-hand side (I wasn’t holding her tight enough on that side and caused some wear and tear), when this happens it’s really easy to start the habit of feeding on your less painful side which can obviously mess up supply. Changing positions stimulate different parts of the breast so eases up the pain and allows tender areas to heal. The rugby hold was really comfortable for me when things were sore. I would also look into a nursing pillow too as it ensures baby stays in an optimum position in the important early days instead of slipping down as your arms get sore (they also make a great shelf to eat off of too!)
Get your baby weighed: What better motivation hey? Seeing those ounces pile on because of your magic milk. On day 5, breastfeeding was pretty rough for me. It was Elins first weigh in since birth and naturally, I was expecting her to lose some weight like babies normally do. She gained 2oz and that was all the motivation I needed!
LANOLIN, LANOLIN, LANOLIN: Specifically the link
. Its worth its weight in gold. No others cut the mustard like Lasinoh. It is expensive but I’ve only ever needed one tube which I didn’t even finish. I’ve heard rave reviews about allowing your breastmilk to dry on your nipples and work its magic but I didn’t try it so can’t vouch for it. The key is to repair and prevent damage. Pack this in your hospital bag and use it from your first feed.
Avoid Soap: In the first weeks, you want to scrub yourself clean, don’t scrub your boobs though! Soap is drying on the skin and when everything is already dry, its counterproductive. I had a huge scrub one night to “wash away labour” and it made feeding that evening so painful. Even 10 weeks on I still try to avoid that area as much as possible.