You go to paint your nails and you just know the second you get to the dryish but tacky crucial stage your baby is going to wake up demanding milk or your toddler is going to wake up and for a pee. All things that involve your hands ending up in your nail varnish to be smeared around your fingers in a flashback Friday homage to your ten-year-old self.
Doing your morning make up involves smearing added products that aren’t part of your usual makeup regime such as your babies saliva from where they’ve been chewing your make up brushes or an added blue eyeshadow on your cheek from where your toddler wants to “help”
Fake tanning now involves leaving massive patches around your boobs so that they now look something more like headlights than breasts, all in order to make sure you don’t get fake tan on your baby – which somehow seems to just happen anyway!
A nice relaxing bath isn’t quite the same when you’re surrounded by bath toys galore while sat on a non slip mat. Self care now consists of bath bombs and toy boats.
You want to style your hair but you’ve left it so long now that the time your kids will actually sit still and allow you to do so is spent trying to untangle your mum bun. By the time you finally tame the knotted mess, they’re no longer kept happy with screen time and snacks and Mum Life needs to recommence. Resulting in said Mum Bun being re-instated for another two weeks.
You planned to have a “proper shower” with a hair wash and possibly even a body scrub but the logistics of where to put your baby to keep them penned in and safe was too exhausting so you’ll settle for a sink wash until your partner comes home and takes over!
A big skincare routine is all good and well until 9pm arrives and you can’t actually be bothered to even take your make up off. Sleeping in it just means you won’t have to go through the whole drama again tomorrow right?