1. Her food is amazing. Remember before you left home, when you were bored with her homemade lasagna/casserole/insert other standard mummy dishes and whined that you wanted to go to McDonalds/Dominos/insert other standard fast food restaurants? Yeah. Now you crave that home cooked food every time you have one of your own semi-edible stir fry packet dishes. And even if she doesn’t cook, beans on toast is so much better with her.
2. She’s generally right about things. Boys, jobs, houses, hairstyles, whether that dress really makes you look slutty — basically everything. Mums are genius.
3. She’s psychic. How… Hoooooowwww do they always know where your stuff is?!! “mum have you seen my blue ripped jeans” “yes they are under you’re bed next to the 50 day old sandwich your hiding that you didn’t eat in your packed lunch” HOW?!
4. She’s fun to talk to. On the phone. For three hours. Every mum has a billion opinions, and people with opinions are the most fun to chat with.
5. She is an expert of the kind of cute little homey accents that make a house a home. My skills in wading through TK Maxx’s home wares section were not a gift from god. They came from the master of sniffing out the perfect scented candle and photo frame that upped my lounge game!
6. She listened to all your secondary school drama bullshit as if they were things that would actually matter in five years. With such solemnity and care that it’s almost like you are talking about the state of global warming instead of a Bebo fight you’re having with a girl.
7. Decisions she made about raising you, even though they seemed super strict, you’re so thankful for now. If she hadn’t forced me to eat my greens and empty the dishwasher, you’d of become a lazy in-polite spoilt child and now you can take great merriment on gloating when you see said people.
8. She’ll give you reality checks when necessary. “Honey, you don’t water plants and eat canned noodle soup, this is not a good time for you to get a dog.”
9. When you don’t listen and get said dog. She’ll still dog sit whilst you take a holiday which you paid for by saving money only eating canned noodle soup!
10. She knows every method of stain removal. She’s smarter than the whole vanish tips forum in the art of stain removal, and she doesn’t even ask why you still are getting grass stains on your clothes in your mid twenties.
11. She indulged all the passing childhood phases/obsessions you had. Ice skating phase? (£). Ballet phase? (££). Karate phase (£££) (I even went through a line dancing phase and my mum didn’t even moan when she dragged me to lessons and I say in the back doing nothing with my cowgirl boots on) I bet she wishes loom bands had got their act together and came out 15 years ago.
12. You know she’ll always be there for you. Even if you do some dumb ass thing like splurging your rent money on new sofa cushions or killing a person. (proud to say I have done neither)
13. She’s the best drunk ever. Because it’s so much better when the child is picking up the parent for once and she pukes all down the side of your car (sorry for repeating mum!)
14. She didn’t yell at you 24/7. I mean, kids are FRUSTRATING. There is only so many times a human can tolerate the words ‘I want’ in a supermarket!
15. She always caught whatever gross playground PoxMumpsCold contagion disease that you brought home as a kid. And took care of you just the same, even though she felt equally crap.
16. She will always put you before her. And that takes a pretty strong human being if you ask me!
17. She’s a real, multifaceted person. Until you reach adulthood, your mum’s name is Mum and her job is also being your mum. Suddenly, in your 20s, you notice that she is a human being with interests outside clothing and feeding you.